Structural Analysis

Thesis Statement

The first sentence of the opening paragraph [Sec. #1], highlighted in the following quote, would be the thesis statement of this article based on two reasons. Firstly, it contains the main idea of the whole essay that willpower affects choices for the diet. Secondly, it brings up the contrasting concept of present pleasure and future benefits, two factors that will influence decision-making in the brain.

Sticking to a diet requires self-control and a willingness to forgo present pleasures for future benefits. Not surprisingly, almost everyone yields to temptation at least sometimes, opting for the cookie instead of the apple. Wondering why we so often override our resolve, scientists at the Laboratory for Social and Neural Systems Research at the University of Zurich recently considered the role of stress, which is linked to a variety of health problems, including weight gain. (There’s something to the rom-com cliché of the jilted lover eating ice cream directly from the carton.) But just how stress might drive us to sweets has not been altogether clear. It turns out that even mild stress may immediately alter the workings of our brains in ways that undermine willpower.

Essay Outline

• [Sec. #2] - Experiment of how stress will affect subjects’ choices
  In this section, the author uses the experiment of stress and choice to strengthen the statement that even mild stress may alter the workings of human brains as a strategy.
• [Sec. #3] - The result of the experiment shows that stress will undermine the ability of self-control
  The comparing results of the experiment prove that stress will affect parts of the brain, amplifying the temptation of enjoying tasty foods and undermining long-range planning.
• [Sec. #4]- Escape from the reasonable but unhealthy neurological responses
  This paragraph reveal the responses of reaching comfort instead of focusing on the future when confronting stressful situations make sense. However, those responses could be avoided.

Coherence & Cohesion

[Sec. #2]

Coherence

• Para #1 - The opening of this paragraph For their study, published this month… is the extension the statement of scientists at the Laboratory for Social and Neural Systems Research…. In addition, the first sentence of the later part …51 young men who said they were trying to maintain a healthy diet and lifestyle shows that these men have intention and willingness for a healthy diet.
• Para #2 - The first sentence in the second paragraph Next, the men in the experimental group were told to… further explains the content of this experiment. Hence, the last sentence in this paragraph …the men developed higher levels of cortisol, a stress hormone reveals the main purpose of this experiment - providing a situation with mild stress to see how stress affects people.
• Para #3 - In the first sentence in the last paragraph of the same section After that, men from each group sat in a brain-scanning machine and watched pictures of paired foods flash across a screen explain how this experiment tests the control group and experimental group. While the sentence …one of the two foods was more healthful than the other points out that how subjects choose would make different results. And the sentence …knowing that at the end of the test they would actually be expected to eat one of these picks strengthen the temptation for those subjects to choose from.

Cohesion

• Para #1 - In the first sentence of this paragraph For their study…, the author uses a pronoun their to refer to scientists at the Laboratory for Social and Neural Systems Research at the University of Zurich in the previous statement of [Sec. #1], or the sentence would be more complicated for readers to read.
• Para #1 - In the second sentence …and then all were asked to…, there is a linker and then. The author uses this linker to make a smooth transition between the previous sentence and the following sentence.
• Para #2 - In the sentence Next the man… appears at first in this paragraph, “Next” serves as a linker to connect the previous paragraph and this paragraph.
• Para #3 - Same as the paragraph ahead, in the sentence After that, men from..., After that serves as a linker to connect the previous and this paragraph. Besides, “that” also serves as a pronoun to refer to the previous activity of the experiment.
• Para #3 - The beginning of the second sentence of this paragraph Generally, one of the two…, “Generally” is used as a linker by the author to make a better transition.
• Para #3 - In the last sentence …to eat one of these picks…, the author uses demonstrative adjective in these picks to put an emphasis on the food those subjects chose.

[Sec. #3]

Coherence

• Para #1 - The first sentence of this paragraph When the two groups were compared… makes an opening for the experiment result. Moreover, the last sentence of this paragraph In effect, the stress of… confirms stress is related to self-control since the following statement of this sentence dampened the ability to consider the future, undermining self-control.

Cohesion

• Para #1 - In the last sentence of this paragraph In effect, the stress…, In effect is served as a linker to make a logical connection between the previous sentence and this one.
• Para #1 - Also, in the last sentence … dampened the ability to consider the future…, the author adopts the strategy of using synonyms words to connect dampen back to undermine in paragraph [Sec. #1].
• Para #1 - In the last sentence the ability to consider the future, undermining self-control, the words undermine and self-control is used as repetition in this essay to repeat keywords.

[Sec. #4]

Coherence

• Para #1 - This paragraph first proves the results aforementioned these neurological responses make sense…, then uses the study’s authors’ statements to enrich this essay. The next sentence Animals in stressful situations must focus on… further affirms stress does affect animals. And the sentence …we reach for the candy echos the topic of this essay, indicates the ability of self-control, as well. While in the end, the sentenceIt doesn’t have to be this way… disagreeing with the result. In the meanwhile, sentences Go for a walk instead o feating. and …don’t store snacks at home provide other ways to stick to a diet.

Cohesion

• Para #1 - In the first sentence of this paragraph From an evolutionary standpoint, these neurological responses make sense…, the author use these neurological responses as a demonstrative adjective to emphasize the result that stress would cause.
• Para #1 - In the opening of the first sentence of this paragraph It doesn’t have to…, It is served as pronoun to place the response that when animals face stressful situations, they may need to comfort themselves.

Take-home Message

In the last paragraph of the entire essay, the author quotes Todd Hare’s statement, the lead author of the study of stress, to imply that humans could escape the instinctive reaction caused by stress. Just as the statement pointed out at the very first beginning, a person needs to control himself to make better decisions considering his future.

From an evolutionary standpoint, these neurological responses make sense, according to the study’s authors. Animals in stressful situations must focus on their immediate conditions, not some hazy future, and may need to comfort themselves so they can face dangers calmly. In our own world of work deadlines and relationship pressures, we reach for the candy. It doesn’t have to be this way. When faced with stress, just 'think about an action path that improves your choice,' says Todd Hare, lead author of the study. Go for a walk instead of eating. 'If you know you will have a hard time resisting,’ he adds, 'don’t store snacks at home.'